The Greatest Place on Earth

Hello boys and girls! I'm having a lovely day!

I went for a walk this afternoon. I wore jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a vest. I nearly died from the heat! It's sooooo beautiful outside that I feel the overwhelming need to overuse my exclamation points! It was lovely!!!

As I was walking, I came to an epiphany. I live in the greatest place on earth. Here's why.

I spend at least 50% of my time in Toronto, and there are undoubtedly aspects of a huge city that I love. Like, the fact that there's often literally a coffee shop on every corner. And the fact that there are world famous buildings everywhere I look. And that the sushi restaurants are way better than the ones we have here. And the streetcars have always struck me as bizarre. I don't like to ride them (they make me a little queezy) but when I watch them go by I feel like I'm in a 1950's movie. They just seem so odd and archaic. I love that.

As I was walking down the 7th line today, it struck me that I also LOVE the peacefulness of a small town. The millions of trees, and the fresh smell (let's face it, Toronto stinks in the summer), and the grass and weeds and fields, and the elaborate gardens my neighbours put in every year. I love the traditions. I love sitting in my backyard drinking beer with friends. I love Summerfest, and look forward to it all year long. I love going to the drive-in theatre with friends, and staying there all night for the dusk-till-dawn. I love visiting my family and chatting on their back deck (they have the most beautiful back yard I've ever seen, truly). I love barbecues. I love going to the beach, and I love the fact that the water in Lake Simcoe is still clean enough to swim in. Not that I ever do.

This is the part where I come to my conclusion: Sometimes I love being in a massive city, and sometimes I love being in a small town, so where I live is the most perfect place in the world: A small town right near a massive city.

It's so simple I'm not sure why I'm bothering to write about it. I guess I'm just trying to pass some time before I go to Toronto to do some writing.

In conclusion, I'm happy to be here.

Forks, The Lamest Spot on Earth

I read an article that got me worked up today. It seems that some idiot named Zig Gauthier is planning a new reality show. Ready for the concept? It's going to be based on the lives of the residents of the town of Forks, Washington. It will star the locals, from housewives, to the students of Forks High. We'll get to see what these people do every day, and...that's all.

What is so interesting about this town, you ask? It's where Twilight is set, of course! How could we not be interested in the day-to-day habits of a bunch of stupid people in a stupid town in Washington? Why didn't someone come up with this idea sooner?

Anyway, it got me thinking, why hasn't anyone done a reality show based on the lives of the residence of Alcona? Think about it, a lot of exciting things happen here. The mayor was charged with assault for swearing at a councilor without having the sense to first turn off his lapel microphone, for goodness sake! That's first class comedy!

The finale of the show could be filmed at Summerfest, in the beer tent. Of course, nobody will see it because we'll all be lined up for the porta-poties.

Seriously, why hasn't anyone done this yet? We residence of Alcona are way more interesting than a bunch of sparkly people from some nowhere town in Washington, of all places.